Eyes Wide Open

by Elena Dean | 9/1/2024

I occasionally delete social media when my workload becomes overwhelming. Sometimes it’s just TikTok; other times, Snapchat and Instagram join. In desperate times, even YouTube and Facebook vanish. This cold-turkey approach helps me escape distraction. Scrolling TikTok had become a habit, not a hobby, so I never really missed it when it was gone.

Yet I always end up redownloading each app. A confusing trend or silly influencer drama makes me feel left out when friends discuss it, and I feel out of place, as if I don’t have a social life despite regularly talking to friends. My anxiety grows too loud, needing distraction to numb it.

When I started as a Daycare Attendant at a doggie daycare in May, I had just redownloaded six apps after a major digital detox during finals. I quickly fell back into the social media black hole, spending close to 10 hours a day on screens. The only time I wasn’t glued to a screen was at work, but my mind still felt detached, drifting closer to my phone and further from my head.

By June, I realized this was a problem. While supervising dogs, my attention landed on a medium-sized gray poodle named Bruno, running endless circles around a small black lab named Loki J. I noticed that Loki J, every day in playgroups, walks into the yard, does her business, and then relaxes in the sunniest spot for 20 minutes. I found myself embarrassingly jealous of her.

I’d never understood the concept of “clearing your mind” in meditation. They say, “Let your thoughts disappear and let go of your worries,” as if it’s something you can control. But Loki J seems to do it effortlessly.

Dogs live by their natural instincts. They act out of instinctual need or desire and only worry or fear when something poses a threat. Once the threat is gone, they no longer worry. Loki J uses the bathroom outside for relief and then lies in the sunniest spot for warmth. Bruno, on the other hand, sniffs around the yard before using the bathroom, runs circles to burn energy, then waits by the door, knowing his bed is waiting for him just where he left it.

Bruno doesn’t rush his circling out of fear that his bed will move, even though it hasn’t changed in the ten years he’s been at the daycare. Loki J doesn’t force herself to play with a ball to distract herself from an impending walk she doesn’t want to take. She doesn’t stay awake at night fearing the occasional vacuum that passes her crate, nor does she feel pressured to change her behavior because Bruno does things differently.

Their ability to prioritize what’s important to themselves is a reminder to approach the social media problem differently. Quitting social media cold turkey might not be the answer. We all need to find our sunny spot, a place to be ourselves away from digital noise, so when we want to, we can be as present and clear-minded as Loki J.